Guitar Smasher For Hire — by Jeremy Kennedy
$222.22
Description
Guitar Smasher For Hire!
Stringed Instruments Damage / Destruction Specialist Service by Jeremy Kennedy
Kennedy brings nearly 30 years experience in the art of smashing electric and acoustic guitars, bass guitars, and a full range of stringed instruments, including: cellos, guitarróns, violins, violas, lutes, mandolins, banjos...and especially ukuleles*.
BREAK AT NECK? NO PROBLEM!
DECAP HEADSTOCK? DONE!
SMASHED-IN PICKGUARD, SINCH!
DESTROY THE ENTIRE BODY,
YOU GOT IT!
YOU NAME IT, I'LL SMASH IT!!!
Whether it be a prized masterpiece or a total piece of shit, I have zerø conflict.
Well-versed in the not-so-suble art of destruction, with an array of experimental etiquette and extended technique. Happy to bring any level of aggro to your event or gig using traditional performative wildness, or to provide a more focused, meditative mode for ceremonial occasion.
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ABOUT THIS SMASHING DEAL:
Pleased to put the FUN in this Fundraising jam! Offering a full-range Instrument disServicing Package, inclusive of patron-guided design for the damaging or destruction of One Instrument (i.e. F*ck Up One Instrument* ... However much you want. However you want.)
*Especially ukeleles (3 for the price of one)
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RATES:
• Flat Rate of $222.22 (LA County)
• ONE TIME ONLY!!! The Entire State of California, including Los Vegas, for the same low rate of $222.22 (plus travel expenses)
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Thank You For Your Interest.
Be Like Water and Stay Safe.
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